Sunday, August 1, 2010

Thankful Reflections on Noah's 2nd Birthday

Today my baby boy turned two years old! It's just so hard to believe my sweet angel is such a big boy. It really does seem like yesterday, that after 21 hours of labor, I gave in to the CSection and delivered Noah.

It is a difficult birth story to be sure. We labored for 10 hours naturally in hopes of a regular birth. But, when Noah's little hand came out first and he presented breech, my only options were an immediate CSection or an epidural so they could push his hand back up in my uterus and allow me to continue to labor. I chose the latter. Despite this and 11 hours of more labor, I spiked a fever and Noah's heart-rate dropped. At that point, we knew a CSection was necessary for a safe delivery and healthy baby. I was satisfied with our attempts at a natural birth and all I really wanted at that point was my baby boy in my arms. Gratefully Father God blessed us with a beautiful baby...a sweet baby boy with such a pleasant, easy going personality.

Unfortunately, 10 days later we ended up back at the hospital. Still, exhausted and recovering from my own surgery, we discovered that Noah had developed pyloric stenosis and would require immediate surgery. It was a frightening time. I honestly have never been through anything so exhausting or felt so helpless. At one point Noah had some trouble coming out of the anesthesia and began to "crash" right in front of us in the recovery room. I will never forget how time came to a complete stop...the nurses and doctors were all rushing around me and all I could think was this cannot be happening. I watched my baby boy die before my very eyes. And then, I watch them resuscitate him and bring him back from the brink of death. Never before have I been so aware that God gives and he takes away...every breath we breathe is given by Him. I am so grateful he allowed Noah to survive. I can't imagine our lives or our family without him. Later when he developed plagiocephally, it seemed so insignificant in comparison. Yes, we were disheartening and more doctor appointments and medical bills, but this was not life threatending and I knew we could handle it.

I think those experiences in Noah's first year of life are what made today so special. I don't take for granted my sweet angel opening his presents, chowing down on his cake and playing with his brother. Every moment in our lives is framed by that single experience in the hospital. I treasure our celebrations, as well as our everyday, because I realize how fragile life is and that it can be here today and gone tomorrow like a vapor in the wind. Life, love, the ups and down are all precious gifts from a heavenly father who loves us so very much. I'll never truly understand the depth of that love, but I'll spend my life in pursuit of the one true God who pours it in to our lives so faithfully.

Happy Birthday Nathanial Noah Padron. I thank God for the lessons He has taught me through you, for the gift of your sweet life in our family and for all we have yet to learn. Mommy loves you more than I will ever be able to express.

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