Monday, October 15, 2012

My Dear Little Boys

I'm not sure you'll ever really know how much I love you. Will you ever understand the tears that fall each time you grow a size and I have to change out your wardrobe. The stabbing feeling in my heart I get each time you have a first...or a last.  The first day of a new grade. The last day of an old. Your first bite of table food and your last suckle of my milk. The first ride on a big boy bicycle and the last ride on your tricycle.

Will you ever know how my heart was so filled with emotions that I thought it would burst on the day you accepted Christ or the day you announced it to the world at your baptisms. As boys, will you ever really understand your mother's heart, how extreme I love you and covet every accomplishment and milestone you surpass.

Before you, I could never have imagined how much a stinky, loud, messy, gross little boy could capture my heart, become my world and pull my heartstrings with such a love that it actually hurts.

Before you, I thought a parent was supposed to teach their children how to live. Since having you I realize it's the other way around. You are the reason I strive to be better, to learn more, to hang on, to be more like earn your love & respect is my crown, my most precious jewel & the thing I treasure most.

I feel too often that I fail at this parenting thing. I'll never fully understand why God chose me to be the mother of 3 such amazing little boys. Why I was blessed so greatly with this honor & privilege. In His great wisdom, he obviously knows more about me than I know about myself. I promise to always try to be the best for you.

Love you to the moon and back again,


Noah's 1st Day of Pre-K

Holy Cow, my Sweet Angel is in Pre-K!! When did he grow up? Watching him with his backpack and lunch  box just about breaks my heart, but fills it with pride all at the same time.

Just as with his big brother, we filled out his "All about Me" questionnaire and traced his hand on construction paper. Fitting with his sweet personality, his favorite person was, "Everyone."  Noah is so loving and kind, I'm not surprised at all by his answer.  He is definitely all boy and it didn't surprise me that his favorite thing about school is the play ground and he wants to be a police officer when he grows up.

I snapped a few extra pictures on the bench where his big brother Luke sat his first day of pre-K. By this time Noah was over taking pics and we were officially running late for his first day of school.

I  just can't help but be sappy & sentimental. These boys have my heart on a string. One little tug and big puddle of melted love. This little boy has a special place in my heart, for sure.

Luke's 1st Day of 2nd Grade

It's 2012 and my first baby boy is 7 years old and in 2nd grade. It simply does not seem possible.

Luke is excited about 2nd grade because he has the same teacher that he had in kindergarten, Ms. Wilcox. She is a wonderful Christian lady who is anointed with the gift of teaching. We found out she was moving to 2nd grade and requested her immediately...and we were so happy to find out Luke was in her class again.

On his first day, as is our tradition, I took a few pics of Luke outside on the front patio with his "All about Me" sign. It's just a little questionnaire that I ask the boys each year to help us remember what their favorite things were. I'm so blessed that Luke still says his favorite thing to do is, "Love on you mom," and that his favorite person is still, "Mommy."  I also traced his hand on construction paper so one day when he is a grown man, I can look back and remember how small his hands were when he was a little boy.

I'm so proud of my honey bunny. Watching him grow and learn is such a privilege and being his mom is an honor.

Luke's Baptism

What an amazing day. I have so many emotions, it's hard to get them all straight to write this post. Watching my first baby boy be baptized today was the culmination of years of hope, dream & prayer come true.

Pride, gratefulness, excitement, relief so many feelings inside just bursting to get out. Listening to the pastor ask Luke who he was trusting his life to...and hearing Luke answer, "God, Jesus," was enough to make this mama's heart burst with love & thanksgiving!

The Pastor went on tell Luke that he was now the salt of the Earth & light of the world...and that, as God's ambassador, it was his responsibility to let his light shine to all those he meets. He then reclined Luke under the water, symbolizing our burial with Christ and being raised in newness of life. Luke took the candle and walked out of the baptism tank and new creation in Christ.

Luke later looked at me and said, "Mommy, I am now your brother...and Daddy is my brother too! We are are all brothers and sisters in the church." amazing how God can reach such a young, tender heart and call it to Him.

This is a day I will surely never forget!