Thursday, October 3, 2013

First Day of School 2013!

I've made it! This year all three boys are in school (or preschool!) As a mom it's such a strange dynamic. On one hand I can't stop crying. The separation and letting go is a physical ache in my chest. On the other hand I am jumping for joy at the small freedom this brings a mom who has been in the "baby trenches" for 8 years. 

These milestones in life are always bittersweet chance for me to pause & ponder where our family is in its evolution and reflect back at how far we've come. I always flash to the moment of each boys' birth. It is a moment in time that will forever be marked in my mind and heart. With Noah, I also think back on those moments I watched him stop breathing and have to be resuscitated after his pyloric stenosis surgery. I then flash to first Christmas', birthdays, preschool graduations...all precious moments that have defined my life. 

Today is one of those days I want to document. Each boy is growing and special in their own way. We are beginning to see spiritual gifts develop in Luke and are praying for revelation in to his Godly purpose in life. Noah is inherently sweet (although NOT a morning person), has completely departed from anything baby and has transitioned in to a real "boy" boy - outside, dirt, bugs, worms, sticky, messy. Cruz is my baby and I'm holding on to every last little bit of that I can. I know I'll have to loosen my hold, but right now I just can't bear the thought of my last baby boy growing up...and moving on. No one ever tells you how hard this paradox of motherhood is. 

Here are a few pics of each boy on their first day of school. I am bursting with pride, swallowing tears, reveling in the quiet and can't wait until they come home to my arms. 





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